Shiva Nata Practice Day: Virginia Woolf Edition
Intention: Stop the terrified jumping jacks my insides are doing. Find some calm and peace because the state of overwhelm still won’t go away.
Working on: Transquarter level one horizontals and verticals
Things that came up for me during this practice: Wow, very, very fun. This gets more fun every time I do it. I went for about 25 minutes because I enjoyed it so much. Began the session by flipping ahead to fast horizontals and flailed a little - that will be wild when I get to it for real.
The interesting thing was how easy and intuitive the slow horizontals became once I switched from going fast back to going slow. So far in my practice I haven’t noticed the patterns, I have been simply trying to grasp what Andre was doing, and couldn’t retain or predict anything because it made no sense. Now I saw the patterns and that made sense, and I was switching to the next correct move in the sequence on my own.
Which means - the slow horizontals aren’t hard enough! But it was great that I did parts that made absolutely no sense and I was completely lost. Getting lost in the chaos made the order emerge in the lower level, so I think both experiences were valuable from this session.
The other nice thing was that my thoughts and fears relaxed, my teeth unclenched, and I was able to think just about the dance and not about all my overwhelm of stuff. It came back now that I am done, but in the moment, I had some peace.
Things that came up for me after this practice (meditation, shavasana):
One word came up, it was almost floating in front my mind, and that word was “space.” I am not sure if it means that I need space from my fears, or to go to a really large space and just sit with things for awhile. It feels like the word meant I need a personal space, a room of my own, some privacy.
Things that came up for me after this practice (48 hours):
Maybe there will be a way for me to create some space. I am someone who needs a lot of alone time and I have had very little of that for the last year. My new job is an open office environment and everyone is very loud. I need to write as part of my job, and everyone around me is yelling. It is difficult to concentrate and be productive. The fear and overwhelm are about making up missed writing assignments. Maybe in order to do them what I need is some privacy and space.
